I'd rather be a comma than a full stop...

For a while now I have been feeling angsty about my life and how it feels like I am in a constant state of transition. It is not a feeling I enjoy. There are currently things up in the air for me that I have absolutely no say over. There is nothing I can do. I realize that this can be interpreted as having control issues, but I assure you that is not the case.

Coldplay has a new song and one of the lyrics says, "i'd rather be a comma than a full stop." For some reason I have been thinking about this a lot. I don't think being a full stop is a bad thing, but I've come to the realization that change makes me feel alive. I am glad to be going through change (obviously not at the time). It reminds me that I'm not stuck in some terrible situation where I have no hope and nothing can change. It can change, and it does.

The ability to experience change is terrible and wonderful at the same time. If I'm not changing then I am stagnant. And that feels even worse changing.

Sometimes You Need to Feel Like a 3 Year Old...

Have you ever had one of those moments where you feel like you can't handle one more thing?You can't take one more step without breaking down?

Today I had one of those moments. When it feels like the weight of the world is crashing down and nothing is going right. All you can do is stomp your foot and burst into tears.

Sometimes, a good cry is needed.

My Life on the Sub List

Miss Floyd, why aren't you married? It's because you're too hot and no one can handle you right now. I have the same problem. -8th grade girl

Are you 20? You look really young. - 6th grade girl

7th grade boy: Where did you go to college?

Me: CSU, Channel Islands. Where are you going to go to college?

Boy: Oregon

Me: University of Oregon or Oregon State?

Boy: University of Oregon

Me: What are you going to major in?

Boy: Football

Happiness is:

111. Fireworks over Dodger Stadium while standing ON the grass of the outfield.

112. Introducing the joys of B&N and mags to a 7 year old.

113. Fresh strawberries picked that day!

114. Fishbowl from LDC.

115. "Modern Family" breakfast.

Lent. Part Duex.

Longest 40 days of my life.

I've failed. I've gone on FB numerous times. I never comment, I just casually look around. I actually feel a lot better about the 'Book now. I don't feel as nosy and I definitely don't feel like I am constantly comparing myself to others. SO maybe I didn't really fail. I partially accomplished what I originally set out to do, I no longer feel (as I assume) an addict feels.

Facebook is still something I'm not a complete fan of and hopefully I won't get wrapped up in all of it again.

Happiness is:

I started Happiness is: after I moved back home from New York. I lived in New York for a year doing a year of service. Basically I lived in an apartment made for 1 with 5 people. I lived in poverty and I lived in an area where I was the minority. It was terrible and incredible at the same time.

New York is an incredibly hard place to live. Especially when you are from southern California and the only weather you experience is some rain and wind. Needless to say I was very unprepared for life in a big city, or even a place that has actual weather.

Happiness is: was started because I needed to focus on the things in life that made me happy throughout the day. I was too focused on feeling sad and I needed to divert my attention elsewhere. My goal was to do one daily, and I do have happiness everyday, I just don't always write them down. I've been writing them down on FB, since I am not (ummmm) going on FB for Lent. I will continue them here.

104. Beauty and the Beast at the Pantages with Rebekah.

105. Fireworks on Rebekah's b-day.

106. Rainbows after the rain.

107. Mimosa Sundays with Tony and Courtney.

108. Pink sunsets

109. Fluffy puppies

110. Dodger seats in front row Loge.

Baby!

Some dear friends of mine just found out they are pregnant.

When I got to work on Friday this was waiting for me on my desk!

A pink poodle baby rattle!

I love it!

Their last name is pronounced "shoe".

So some names they are considering:

Tyrone Dam Schuh (tie your own damn shoe)

Brianne New Schuh (brand new shoe)

haha they are great!

They are also going to make absolutely wonderful parents! Congrats Schuhs!!